“It has long been theorized, although never proven, that Monster doping with what would become known as Fight Milk was rampant in the final season of UMBA. While the source of the Fight Milk itself remains unknown, the anti-serum, affectionately known as Peace Juice, is a product of the collaboration between Monster medic Suture and former bookie Fatesmith. Thanks to their efforts Monster fighting arenas remain safe to this day, and although Fight Milk continues to rear its ugly head across the Monster battling scene the antidote is never far behind.
Of course this is not the only medical innovation attributed to Suture. Far from it. Sole inventor of Xenon 2.0 and later co-inventor of Xenon 3.0 with their partner Dr Frost, we are closer than ever to a safe, effective and universal Monster anesthetic.
Suture was not just a inventor, but a practicer of Monster medicine: a warrior-healer with the skills to go toe-to-toe with the biggest scariest critters in the Wasteland and fix them despite their best efforts to crush her into a bloody pulp. Over her career she has successfully practiced on such Monsters as Thorn, Wreckatar, Hard-As-Nails and even THE TENT! And as far as we know she still has all the limbs she was born with!
While Suture is best known for her medical achievements, one would be remiss not to mention her exploits in the Arena. She and Dozer went from Arena laughing stocks to Heavyweight alpha division over the course of UMBA season XXXVI, a division that we will remind you also contained such legendary Monsters as Dark Steel, Mechagraviton and Thorn. That the medic and her Monster climbed so high in the face of such stiff competition is a testament not just to their incredible bond but their tireless training.”
- excerpt from Do-Gooders and Cinnamon Rolls of Bastion, by Zephyr
The wind whips around your face as you drive Dr Frost’s sweet ride parallel to the giant beast’s trajectory. A size catagory three hexaped charging for the walls of Bastion. Not good. If you don’t stop it they’re going to open fire and blow the poor wounded beast to smithereens. Gunshots ring in your ear as she stands on her seat with her Sniper-Injector trying to finding an opening in the Titan’s armoured hide.
“It’s too thick,” she yells over the howling wind. There’s only one thing for it.
“Take the wheel!” You yell.
“What! Suture… what are you doing!”
You pull down your goggles, draw two long metal needles and leap onto one of the massive Monster’s six legs. Immediately you are flung from side to side by the rocking of the beast’s legs. Using your needles like an ice axe to haul yourself up the beast’s leg. This thing is massive.
From the car Dr Frost yells, “Suture what the hell are you doing!”
You look down and give her a wink before hauling yourself up out of view onto the creature’s back. The footing is unstable up here but you stand like a sailor swaying with the great Monster’s gait. You can see the cause of its distress now, a great harpoon sunk into its flank. Some unscrupulous Monster hunters no doubt.
You glance over your shoulder to see that you are rapidly approaching the great walls of Bastion. And the autocannons thereon. Looking at the size of the skewer it’s not going to be possible to pull it out right now. You’re going to need Dozer for that.
Right that leaves plan B.
You dance over the Monsters back towards it’s head. You’re almost flung from your feet as a fountain of dirt a hundred foot high explodes in front of the Monster, showering you in pebbles and Wasteland dust. That was the warning shot. They won’t miss next time.
On top of the beast’s craggy spade shaped head you kneel down and pull out a few precious vials of Xenon 3.0. Eh, quick calculation, a monster of this size… two should do it. Probably.
“Sorry big friend, nap time.”
You sink your biggest needle into a fissure in its forehead and rappel down to one of it’s six big eyes. As you try to gain purchase it blinks a stony lid almost crushing you. Then it starts tossing its head. You are thrown back and forth like a tiny puppet on an all too fragile wire. You slam back first onto its head with an impact that shakes your very bones.
“…Ow…”
Plan C it is. You whistle as loud as you can and hope Dozer can hear. You pull yourself to your feet with some difficulty. Probably going to have to get checked out after this one. You see Dozer Bulldozing towards the creature perpendicular to its path. It’s going to hurt, but a lot less than a rocket to the face.
Dozer sweeps into the giant Monsters forelegs. It stumbles, then begins to topple. You hang on for dear life as it faceplants the desert, throwing up a cloud of dust and rock. The impact jars you manage to hang on as the beast goes down.
You stumble away from the creature’s head. You pat yourself down. Everything still, as far as you can tell, intact. Dr Frost pulls the hover-pick-up to a stop besides the two of you. She does not look amused. As she strides towards you she takes a snapshot with the Sniper Injector at the creature’s now exposed eye. With a sad rumble its eyes slowly droop as the Xenon takes effect.
“Look, it seemed like a good idea at the ti-”
Another shot and you look down to see the dart sticking out of your thigh.
“Okey… that probably fai-”
You hit the dirt too.
