Personally, I think that there would be nothing more fitting for this SPECIAL issue than to have there be nothing here at all. Says it all, doesn't it? UM-berks silencing the truth y'know? It's all happened before, and even AMBER ain't free of it. I've got evidence! I'd show it to you but I reckon this issue should say nothing.
ur an idiot by writing something u've meant theres already something here now what great job with your metaphor nice job breaking it u producer-lovin shit
Rude.
I've done it. I've finally done it. I had to steal about a hundred different notebooks in order to find one to replace Bright's with, but I've FINALLY done it. The TRUE dossier on Mesh: everything he ever did wrong, and the true explanation of WHY HIS HEAD DID THAT?
Prepare to be BLOWN AWAY, because that's what MESH did to every single one of the Champions in one way or another. That's right: every Season Thirty Tricks Champion MESH WRECKED. Well okay maybe not all of them but I'm talking Cinder - remember her? Red cape, good with volcanos - Block and Canon and THEN if you think about it he also got LONGBOW and that's… well Longbow technically became champion later that season so I guess it doesn't count.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS you ask? Well who do you think cleaned Mesh's grooming parlour? Hmm? HMM? Well I found them and it turns out they were dead but you know who DID all this? Bright. Bright was right. That trial was a sham and it's all because of YARN.
Mesh's head just did that but I'm telling you I'd have made Mesh's head do that if I could have.
OASIS UNDER ATTACK
REPEAT OASIS UNDER ATTACK
UNIDENTIFIED SNIPER ATTACKING OASIS
SERIOUS DAMAGE TAKEN
MONSTER MEDIC REQUIRED
SHOOTER COULD NOT BE CAPTURED
…it's the phantom again. I'm telling you. Blastshot's phantom. She's still out there. She never died. I'm telling you it WaS aLl A sEtUp
I told you 25 years ago and I'm telling you now: Yarn's death was a conspiracy. They never really died! Well, okay, yes, they did die, but it was a SETUP. It just doesn't add up. Yarn. YARN. That famous Rules Lawyer suddenly denouncing everything they'd done as corrupt? Yeah right. Someone had something on Yarn and it must have been BIG to get Dark Steel involved. Maybe someone took issue with one of the fights Yarn swung? Maybe Brikquid came for them?
Personally I reckon it was someone who had a massive bet on Omega losing at one point - Yarn fought on her side every time and that must have hurt a few pockets. Probably even more, given Yarn's reputation for fighting for the little guy - swinging fights against the odds: that's gonna hit bookies in the pockets I'm telling you.
So you know what I did? I went through every single record of Yarn's speech before they were killed by Dark Steel and you know what I found? I found if you take the first letter of each word, Yarn was SPELLING OUT A MESSAGE:
NTKTMIBAAGIRITHASBANSTHDTYSINITATILTGASOTMFRUIWGTOWAIFIWOBFTHTAHOFFMLWIANIKALOPASIATMMSHTTIASRWBWMFARNPMIKMWDHWGHMITFPMOAIDSTINKOOMMHTDBTPAPTNTMSTAACTNOTPTDATOAPIBTDKABWSCDTSOBAAEUITABOMDYHAIHTMSTPISCTFPAFASJLAHAIYWMITWYCTTAYPTCOAYBTTATPATMAWEKYFTTOTPCWUPASTMTBYTTHJBBHAICUPAMAHASTOIBLPHCYCTEDBLMDSTDTPITYWGTPDYSYCSAOTAYHTDITYKEJTTTTHTCIOINGTHYINLB
I think you all know what this means as well as I do.
hhhhhey you ever come back from sniffing the fences on Oasis and just feel… like destroying the city? like not metaphorically, literally? like every now and then
just a little
just the fences
the ones they carved from the back of chalky
just a little
or is it just me
FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY
HUMAN + MONSTER COMBO FIGHTS IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHERE
YES I KNOW THEY DON'T NORMALLY ALLOW MONSTERS
COME WEARING LEDA ATOMICA MERCH AND GET HALF PRICE FRONT ROW TICKETS
STRIKE VS RIMERA
YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME
Seeking Bunker Bud. Must fit in Bunker Ventilation Systems. Experience with mechanics desired. GSOH needed.
UMBerks need not apply.
I think I can speak for all of us when I say I am astonished to discover that all along there have only been One Hundred and Sixty Four different Monsters. No more no less. Isn't that amazing?
You're an idiot. Morose Progress catalogued at least two hundred more than two decades ago, and Cyclops has catalogued another 50 hatched in the last decade. This magazine is for serious research so get out and stop wasting our time.
Hey I found a scrap draft of the Prime Exec slash Ed fic complete with a saucy doodle wanna see?
SERIOUS. RESEARCH.
A brief step out of retirement to remind everyone that 25 years ago it was loyal readers that suggested the name that UMBC took. Loyal Off the Record readers who suggested Ultimate Maximum Battle Arena. So you know what that means?
That's right.
One of Them is on the inside.
- Editor.
okay we've busted so many mysteries before but this one takes the proverbial pancake
we worked out way before anyone that omega was a monster
we worked out way before anyone that strike was a monster
we worked out way before anyone that maximus was creepy as all shit
but the thing is
theyre all squishy category
what about crunchy category
what about paradigm
have you seen the way he moves
have you seen the way he looks at people
he doesnt look at people
he looks through them
he calculates
hes always calculating
hes more archaeotech than human
does that make him a monster???
Did anyone ever confirm if the Arena itself was a Monster?
