Ultimate Ventures regrets to report that diplomacy with the Wasteland village has gone significantly south following an argument over fiction found published by the prolific provocateur, KHAOS. The work included particularly derogatory portrayals of Wastelanders in situations that the author goes to great length to describe and, rather understandably, caused significant upset to the Wastelanders.

The situation was unfortunately exacerbated by a member of the Ultimate Ventures team making the mistake of carrying a newer instalment of KHAOS's fiction that was discovered in a UV vehicle by one of the villagers only hours after UV explained that KHAOS was not representative of Bastion.

This particular piece included a very graphic and, more concerningly, satirical description of the once public figure 'Masters' and 'Soilgouger', a prominent Wasteland leader. The implication that a former Vice Executive of the former Bastion Network engaging in particular relations with the Wasteland leader for personal gain was… not received well.

As such, I would like to suggest that UV raise the risk level of visiting Dusty Plateau to CRITICAL for the next five years, or until such time as KHAOS prints an apology.

– excerpt from Dusty Plateau Risk Assessment 12, conducted by Quake

Given the revelation of the identity of the Prime Executive as a black box controlling all our fates, it occurs to me that my previously published accurate portrayal of an intimate relationship between the Prime Executive of the Network and the writer of Off The Record may not have been perceived as as metaphorical as I would like.

As such, I would like to take the opportunity to rectify the situation by writing a complete and accurate account without metaphor of the intimate and personal relationship between the Prime Executive of the Network and the writer of Off The Record, complete with the TRUTH you've all been waiting for: the illicit affair between the Prime Executive and Giant Block of Wood. Watch this space…

– excerpt from Fangzine