“People often think of Crash as a pod racer and the trainer of Mechagraviton. They think of her as the Trainer who won the heavyweight of season thirty three, beating out even the grand champion of that year, Dark Steel, to the prestigious award. They think of her as the inventor, and five time grand champion, of Wasteland anti-grav pod racing. What is rarely mentioned is her innovations in Arena safety.
Over the past twenty five years it is estimated that Crash’s gravitic crowd shielding has saved over a hundred thousand lives. Taking their immense winning from the Network in the form of Archeotech she spent the next five years reverse engineering her Monster’s gravity manipulating powers, eventually culminating in levitating platforms, anti-grav racing pods and, of course, the shielding. Today crowd fatalities are a horrifying rarity rather than a weekly occurrence. It is hard to believe that during the days of UMBA people were expected to be killed in many matches. Harder still to believe that knowing this didn’t stop them attending. We all remain keen to see what she will come up with next: rumour has it that there is a possible flying machine in the works. When questioned Crash has only ever smiled evilly and flicked their cape.
Of course no discourse on Crash would be complete without mention of their business: Crazy Crash’s giant weapon emporium. She and former Maintenance employee Specialist Pylon set up shop after the fall of UMBA, providing giant weapons and the training required to use them to the competitors of UMBA and AMBER. Sales spurred by Crash’s immense success in the Arena has made the business the most profitable Monster Armory in the city.
Furthermore Crash continues to advocate for the high safety standards inside the Arena. Together with other prominent UMBA Season XXXIV they have managed to keep public opinion firmly against monster and Gladiator fatalities.”
- excerpt from UMBA Champions: Where Are They Now?
Everything hurts. You put your hands down into hot desert dirt. What were you doing again? You can’t quite remember. Your head is spinning. You reach up and feel your split helmet fall away. That seems… not good. You stumble to your feet. Everything is brown and blurry. Oh, you have your goggles on. You them down around your neck and immediately squint against the sudden brilliant contrast of orange Wasteland sands and the clear blue sky. There’s a noise like thunder from somewhere far away.
You glance around you and see the burning wreckage of a machine. To your left a mangled steel roll cage. To your right an anti-grav thruster sparks and spins on its axis. You stumble to out of it’s path as it flies off into the Wasteland and explodes in a purple fireball. Man, that’s going to be expensive to fix.
What were you doing again?
You look behind you and see the broken remnants of a long black-and-white checkered banner, split in half and on fire. Behind it there are stands. And people. Wow. Thousands of people. The thunderous noise resolves itself. It’s them. They’re chanting.
“Crash! Crash! Crash!”
You see Mechagraviton descending from the sky towards you with what can only be described as a concerned look on it’s reptilo-mechanical features. Ah! You remember what you were doing! Three anti-grav pods race past you at two hundred miles an hour.
You were winning.
You raise your arms in the air victorious and crowd goes wild.
“Big, big guns. Low, low prices. Crazy Crash’s giant weapons emporium.”
