✎ news:sentinel:8 [UMBA]

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====== Sentinel Ed. 36:8 ======

===== Champions Announced =====

In an absolutely spectacular set of final fights, the League Rankings have really been shaken up.  The details are below, but the news you're all waiting for: the Championship titles!

The Heavyweight Number One //and// Heavyweight Champion, beating Hard as Nails for the spot in an amazing aerial fight: **MECHAGRAVITON**.

The Lightweight Number One, beating THE TENT in a brutal massacre that left hundreds injured and countless dead, **PEPPER** takes the top spot!  But, as she is already Fan Favourite Champion, the Lightweight Champion title //would// go to Malbec.

EXCEPT for the fact that our Double Team Winners are **HEAVY METAL** - but both parties are //already// Champions (Heavyweight and Ultimate Survivor), so the Double Team Champion titles IN FACT go to **TEAM LEGIT**, making Midnight now Double Team Champion 1 and High Noon Double Team Champion 2.

But Midnight's Swimsuit Champion, we hear you cry - thankfully, we have a runner up there that can take the spot: **MONOCHROME** is now Swimsuit Champion, which means that the //third// place Lightweight rankee takes the Lightweight Championship title: **THE TENT**!

This leaves us with the following championship titles, in alphabetic order of title:

^ Title ^ Trainer ^ Monster ^
| Double Team 1 | Midnight | Shrapnel |
| Double Team 2 | High Noon | Longbow |
| Fan Favourite | Saffron | Pepper |
| Heavyweight | Crash | Mechagraviton |
| Lightweight | Pennythrift Steeple | THE TENT |
| Network's Choice | Omega | ??? | 
| Swimsuit | Malbec | MonoChrome |
| Ultimate Survivor | Blade | Dark Steel |

===== Round 7 Shuffling Results =====

Now there may be 8 Champions, but the Division Winners are still important, so let's look at what happened there!  Remember, the rankings used here will inform where all our competitors will be seeded //next// Season!

=== Heavyweight ===

  * Crash (Mechagraviton) wins Alpha Division
  * Dozer (Suture) and Optizorb (Strive) move up to Alpha Division from Beta Division
  * Socket (still failing to declare a Monster) and The Nyoominator (Sprocket) move down to Beta Division from Alpha Division
  * Friendly Fire (Arch) and The Intertianator (Sprocket) move up to Beta Division from Gamma Division
  * Wreckatar (Pennythrift Steeple) and the Howling Terror (Corsair) move down to Gamma Division from Beta Division

=== Lightweight ===

  * Pepper wins Alpha Division
  * Murk (Noggin') and Rollerpedes (Morose Progress) move up to Alpha Division from Beta Division
  * Experiment X (Teeth) moves down to Beta Division.  Your Worst Nightmare is killed and Zenith withdraws, leaving an extra space in Beta Division.
  * Titch (Ash Moon), Jaws of Defeat (Pluck) and Strike (trainerless) all move up to Beta Division from Gamma Division. 
  * The withdrawal of Nocturne and Paradigm means nobody moves down to Gamma Division from Beta Division
  * The death of Victory Viper and subsequent withdrawal of Zephyr means that most of Delta Division move into Gamma Division, and the old Epsilon and Delta Divisions merge to become one Delta Division.

=== Double Team ===

It's a close run thing, but Team Legit are beaten out by a terrifyingly well executed display from Heavy Metal.  Beetle Circus are defeated and outstyled by Team Slime who take the third spot away from the reunited partners, but all these displays give a strong seeding for next Season.

===== Grand Championship Rules Announced =====

The rules for the ALL NEW GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP are as follows:

    * Trainers will assemble their Champion Monsters outside the designated gates to the city of Bastion.
    * The objective of the Champion Monsters is to attack the invading Monsters.
    * Point scores for each monster will be decided by Morose Progress and the Junior Executive of Creative Branch, Trend.
    * When the Grand Championship match has begun and not ended, and a Champion Monster lands the knock-out blow on an invading Monster, then the point score for the invading Monster will be added to that Champion Monster's score.
    * When the Grand Championship match has begun and not ended, and a Champion Monster attacks another invading Monster, but does not kill it, then when that invading Monster is killed, one-third of the point score for the invading Monster will be added to that Champion Monster's score.
    * If, during the Grand Championship match, a Champion Monster moves more than 2 metres towards the city walls of Bastion while not being attacked, then that Champion Monster is disqualified.
    * Knock-out rules for conventional Arena Matches apply, but only where possible.
    * If a Champion Monster is knocked out, then that Champion Monster is disqualified.
    * Once the Grand Championship match ends, and before the judging team finishes the scoring process, Champion Monsters may score additional points (at the discretion of the judging team) by bringing back parts of Monsters to the judging team.
    * Once the Grand Championship match ends, and the judging team has finished the scoring process, the highest-scoring Champion Monster who has not been disqualified is declared the winner. The trainer of that Champion Monster wins the Grand Prize.
    * If all Champion Monsters are disqualified, the Grand Prize will not be awarded.

===== Creative Branch Bans Use of Non-Essential Archaeotech in the Arena =====

Junior Executive Trend has announced a rules change that means no Archaeotech can be used in the Arena unless it is deemed essential by Creative Branch.  
Examples of non-essential Archaeotech include: 
  * Archaeotech Lighting
  * Archaeotech Safety Equipment
  * Archaeotech Weapons Systems 
Examples of essential Archaeotech include 
  * Archaeotech Sponsorship Equipment.

===== Junior Executive High Noon takes over finance: goodbye Ada =====

Following a reshuffle of the Finance Branch, High Noon has been appointed the new Junior Executive of Finance, with Bullhorn standing as Deputy Junior Executive.  We wish Ada well after her long and successful career.



===== Shaft 19, Monster human hybridisation and Gnosis: the whole story =====

Recently much has been said about the House Monster known as Gnosis. Today we will for the first time deliver the full story. 

Directly from the Executive branch files: 

<spoiler|Content Warning: Coercion into Scientific Experimentation>

“The story of Gnosis begins in season 34. It was recognized by the Prime Executive that the Network had insufficient control over the behavior of Monsters in matches. Analysis revealed that intelligence was less of a problem than the ability to manipulate them. At this point Junior Executive Masters suggested that recent success in the Monster-Human hybridisation research that had been carried on in Shaft 19. She suggested that the Network’s effectiveness with manipulating human assets could be generalized to Monsters via this avenue.

It had been recognized at this point that the connection between Monster and human was key for the psychological well-being of the hybrid, and so trainers/Monster pairing were considered.  Masters personally screened several pairs of trainers and Monsters, looking for appropriate matches. Two pairs were selected. Transparacat and <REDACTED>, and Gnosis and <REDACTED>.

Both were successfully underwent the procedure voluntarily. The combination of financial incentive and dependents whose safety could be leveraged as collateral proved effective.  Both hybridisations were initially successful. Unfortunately the Transparacat hybrid quickly became unstable. After some unfortunate incidents in the Shaft 19 facility it was incapacitated and .

For some time it seemed Gnosis would be lost as well, the prospect of remaining trapped in the hybrid form seemed to cause the asset significant distress. Masters offered it a way out: win season 34 and your debts will be cleared, lose and you will serve out the remainder of your life as a house Monster. It was made clear to the asset that failure to comply with the terms of the agreement would result in not just it’s own termination but that of it’s family. This seemed effective at ensuring it’s loyalty.

Though Gnosis was among the most successful monsters in season 33, in particular noted for its fight with the Monster Alpha and it’s trainer Omega (who had been shortlisted for the project as well, but ultimately rejected on the grounds of insufficient leverage). The asset however ultimately failed to win the championship. This was not due to intervention on the Network’s part, to the best of our knowledge.
Reacting to this badly a practical demonstration of the repercussions to the asset’s family was made. Since then the asset’s obedience has never been called into question, although it continues to be belligerent with all Network operatives that interact with it.”

</spoiler>

Since Gnosis’ exit from the league we have lost track of it, but wherever it is we hope it is doing well. 



===== Match Rigging in the Arena =====

We have for the first time ever performed a deep fiscal probe of collusion between the branches of the Network to fix the odds of matches.

The results clearly show that the odds you are offered //do not// reflect the Network’s estimation of who is likely to win the fight. Moreover, there is evidence that individuals within the Network with the power to set these odds are engineering them in order to create a favourable gambling environment for themselves.

But it goes deeper. 

There is evidence of the Network systematically rigging fights to ensure the “right” victor. Today we will be publishing never-before-seen letters from former Junior Executive Blaze, Junior Executive Ironhide former Vice Executive Masters and former Junior Executive Ada that show conclusive evidence that the Network was working to create unfavourable environments for Trainers such as Cinder, The Executioner and Muzzle.

//See page 12-16 for the figures.//


===== The missing generation: where are all the old Monster Trainers? =====

Where are all the old Monster trainers? Has any trainer been prominent in the league for more than a few years? 

Today we will present shocking evidence that the Network has been systematically //retiring// trainers and Monsters that “have had their time”.

Dozens of former Monster trainers have come forwards with stories of how agents of the Executive branch of the Network approached them after a prolonged period of success in the league and made it know that they should stop competing. With careers ending unexpectedly and unforeseeable debts to pay these trainers have had to give up their Monsters, often to the very Network that retired them, and return to Bastion in destitution.

But the real horror story is those trainers that said “No”.

We have intercepted letters right from the top, from Masters herself and her predecessors as Vice Executive, calling for match rigging, “accidents” for competing Monsters and in some cases, the outright //assassination// of the trainers themselves.

This is not a recent trend either. Interviews with Executive branch staff indicate that this has been going on for as long as anyone remembers. 

So where are the missing trainers today? Among you, on the streets of Bastion, hiding for fear of a shadowy organisation accountable to no-one.

//Letters printed on pages 17-20.//



===== The Network: keeping the Kyat down against the Riel=====

As many of you will know the Bastion Kyat currently stands at 10,037 Kyat to the Riel. But why is the currency of the city of Bastion so weak against the Network Riel?

In this groundbreaking article we reveal this to be the product of decades of fiscal engineering on the part of the Network. We have uncovered documentation revealing how the Network has maintained an unfair financial advantage over the city of Bastion, effectively allowing it to employ armies of labourers, procure all of the food it needs at virtually no cost.

Today Network jobs are the best paying in the city, but this is because the Network’s monopoly on outside trade has allowed it to impoverish Bastion to the brink of economic irrelevance.

And they’re not alone in this. There is evidence that a number of other corporations active in the Bastion area including Briquid and Make-A-Monster have been actively cooperating in keeping the people of Bastion poor.

//See pages 21-33 for the proof.//




===== New Arena Stands outside Bastion =====
Following the tireless work of Maintenance Branch, and the intricate planning of Junior Executive Trend, a new set of stands has been built atop the walls of Bastion, to allow all interested stakeholders to watch the Grand Championship from a safe location.  Refreshment and merchandise stalls are available at the base of the walls, for those who wish to take a break from watching.


===== Power back on =====

Power has now been restored to virtually all Network facilities. The Sentinel would like to offer special thanks to the following individuals for their exemplary performance in restoring power to Network facilities:

  * Dashboard
  * High Noon
  * Paradigm
  * Square Peg
  * Sprocket
  * []
  * Quake
  * Vice Executive Diamond


===== New Creative Branch Building =====

The repairs and modifications to the Creative Branch offices by maintenance branch's very own [BAD STAR] have finally been completed. With a new brutalist style and dominating the skyline of the Arena with their solidity, the offices should certainly stand the test of time! The Network would like to extend particular thanks to Paradigm also, for completing repairs to the Finance and Maintenance offices, as well as aiding with restoring internal Network communications.



===== South Stands renamed =====
Following the auction at the last league conference, the South Stands have been official renamed “If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?–”  The new name should be used, in full where space permits, on all official Network media.  

The approved short form for If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?–, where strictly necessary, is "Love's Curse".

The Network would like to assure all Stakeholders that If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?– is not cursed, and that there are no spells on it which would require lifting.

Due to the Grand Championship taking place outside of the walls of Bastion, If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?– will not be used for the Grand Championship. However, we look forward to welcoming fans to If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?– for any and all fights organised in the arena going forward.  

If you wish to make your own romantic gesture, why not take your partner to If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?–?

Any uses of the old name for If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?– should be reported to the If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?– renaming team of Creative Branch, or left in the postbox at the entrance to If Love's A Curse, I Don't Want The Spell To Be Lifted: –How's that for a romantic gesture, Crabgrass?–.
===== Hot tubs working again! ===== 

Thanks to Quake, as we can report that the most important amenity available to those who have the privilege of living in the Mid-Season Mansion is now restored! The hot tubs, long used for parties and relaxing by champions and champions-in-waiting, are back online and bubbling away. Users are strongly advised to avoid the newly-installed pump and heating elements while enjoying the hot tubs.


===== Condolences to Victims of the Pepper Rampage =====

The Network extends its condolences the families of the many, many victims of the rampage in the "Love's Curse" stands of the Monster Pepper in which many, many innocent spectators were brutally ripped to shreds by the rampaging beast.

Junior Executive High Noon has been unavailable for comment, but Finance Branch is expected to remind spectators that they spectate at their own risk.
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