✎ news:blaze:4 [UMBA]

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====== BLAZE Season 36 Issue 4 ======

===== Gladiator fights BRUTAL =====
The battles with gladiators are getting more bloody, definitely. The injuries of Strike at the end of his match versus Diamon demonstrate just how inferior we are as humans, generally speaking, to the strength and fighting skill of a monster. A humbling thought - and one that makes us question the sanity of any Gladiator. Of course this isn't new - it's a daily topic of conversation, isn't it? - but this season looks to be turning out to be almost as gory and dangerous as the infamous Season XXX. Of course none of our current Gladiators have been dissolved yet, but if this carries on, who knows? 

//BLAZE// tried to obtain an interview with Strike following his incredible mauling from Diamon, but he was unavailable due to being severely injured.

===== Saffron's The New Spice =====

With all the news just now coming out about how Saffron was Cinder's protege and best friend, it's hard to believe we missed her all this time. But she's everywhere now! And she stands a shot at the title with her fire monster, so it totally makes sense. She even put on a public training event, and attended Decibel's memorial, so she's been hard to miss.

She certainly has her diehard fans now - and rightly so, because who doesn't like an underdog? She's plucky, we'll give her that, and Pepper is oh-so-cute! Let's see how she does in her next few fights, and whether she's got what it takes to be the next Champion.
===== Efficacy of Network Xenon Questioned =====

It's emerging that a worrying amount of Monsters recently have not reacted properly to Xenon. THE CAT is the most recent example of many. BLAZE has learned that a whole //five// cartridges of Xenon were fired at The Hedgehog after its last battle. 

Additionally, if the SPAM flyers are true, the losing heavyweight Monster has a reaction to the sedative darts. Whether this is the Xenon content or one of the solvents is up for debate. Sure, the phenomenon of adverse effects to Xenon - with varying reactions from blistering to seizures - has occasionally happened before, but in combination with the latest spate of low effects, does it mean something more?

This leaves us asking crucial questions: Has Xenon lost its effectiveness? Is the Network diluting it? Are the suppliers selling lower quality? Are the doses fired the same as in previous Seasons? We believe the public deserves to know.

===== Celebrity Columnist: Tornado... Of Tornado & The Storms! ===== 

HI, everyone! I'm almost as excited as you are to announce that //Blaze// has super kindly invited me back to write, and what's more, to write a regular column. A big THANK YOU to my fanbase for getting me this far. We are all one team <3

So, I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that I just looooove all the CUTENESS going on recently. Those of you with an eye for the adorable - which, let's face it, is everyone - will have noticed the AAAAAW-some battle between **Slime Kitty** and **MonoChrome**. They were so relaxed and soothing it made me want to have a catnap myself. 

Those Monsters bows, too, am I right? I saw them on the priceboard at the Vault, but I didn't actually appreciate just how much they can make an audience coo. Anyone who missed **Shrapnel**'s fashion appearance, missed out. Not to be forgotten in this parade of pretty is **Doughball**, who, in an exciting twist of events, I've heard called **Doughnut** now. The sugar dusting, the sprinkles, that big bloop of jam... utterly delicious.

Speaking of catnaps, have you noticed how **Dozer** was less sleepy during its last fight? We saw some action. And not just a bit of tongue-flicking, either - oh dear. Can whoever is editing this take that bit out please?! We saw some action, and not just a blink or two before it settled down to sleep, no! I'd love to know what **Suture** gave it to keep it awake - whether it's caffeine or super effective encouragement, I want some. Dozer has had two unfortunate matches where things didn't go quite as planned (the one where **Longbow** didn't show, and this last one, where the **Hedgehog** escaped the wall and ran amok in the audience), but it's none of its fault - it's a real good Monster!

My most favourite thing from the last rounds? A Monster getting the munchies and getting HIGH on another Monster's mushrooms! If that sounds strange to you, that's either because a) IT IS or b) you missed the **Murk** vs **Mycosaurus** battle! There are some real talented artists down the Arena sidestreets that'll do you a sketch of it - the way that shaggy beast swaggered... Hahaha! See you around, and we'll all look forward to my next column! Tornado xxx
===== Stats Update: Omnisquid =====
This //Blaze// contributor would like to write a factfile on Omnisquid's combat stats. Unfortunately he cannot, since he doesn't know //what the fuck that thing is.//

Tentacles. That's as far as I can get with this. Sorry, folks.

===== Rollerpedes vs THE TENT =====
Wasn't that AWESOME? The tricks the Rollerpedes were doing, and THE TENT's brutal biting leaps, and the whole circus-themed set-up...

It was pretty cool. Not sure why it's getting so much hate.

===== Fan Survey =====

So while //Sentinel// is out finding out who the Trainers with the most Riel are, we want to know who the Trainers to watch for FAN FAVOURITE are, don't you?  So, Trainers, if you're reading this: be warned!  We're gonna be interviewing fans around the Arena to find out who's really the ones to watch in the Arena.

//OC: Blaze will be surveying for Fans - do note if you're intending to make an effort to misrepresent your performance.//

===== Queues =====

Hate queueing for things you need?  Like supplies or medicine or weapons?  Why not come down to Big's Discount Services where we //guarantee// to undercut the Network's prices on any service!
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