THAT WAS SO COOL
THE INTERVIEWS
AND THE SAD
AND THE MUSIC
AND THE MORE SAD
AND THEN BOOM BUTTERFLY EVOLUTION WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT
BEST SHOW 10/10 DECIBEL KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE ABOUT <3
Title: The Way Home
Rating: G
Description: Alone in the Wasteland, Disjunct can't stop thinking of Bastion.
Author's Note: Heyyyyy! So I've been reading Disjunct's Underground Adventure, like, OBSESSIVELY this last week because WOW it's a fun one, and I wanted to add my own bonus chapter! Here's Disjunct feeling kinda homesick because super cool teleporting adventurers can have a sensitive side too!
SSMAS was lucky enough to have an interview with the Rules Lawyer Yarn, close friend to and trustworthy authority on Omega! We heard stories about her stoic nature, her best entrances into the Arena, the Monster attack she repelled at the city walls, the worst public arguments she's ever got involved in, information on how long and hard she trains, and stories that even WE wouldn't print *gasp* For the full interview, which reveals the battered soul and determined underdog behind all the hype, turn to page 8.
They say Volcanosaurus is dead! Shot! Killed! Murdered! EXTINGUISHED! SSMAS can't reveal all the details right now, but look out for a special item with ALL THE TRUE DEETS on Volcanosaurus' untimely demise in the Wastelands in next week's issue!
On that note - the whole Nyoominator/Inertianator OTP thing has given me LIFE. (Oh, crap - is that offensive, considering, er, Canon?)
Well, anyway, they went from being deadly rivals, to friends, to MORE than friends over the course of a single battle! Folks, it was everything we could have dreamed of and more.
Okay, so as a zine, I know we strive to remain ship-neutral. BUT, no-one ever said anything about being politically neutral! So, I'm going to just come out and say it: Square Peg is RIGHT, everyone. We totally ARE trapped in a cultural paradigm where systematic violence and Monster-bashing is normalised - nay, celebrated! Stand up for Monster rights! Paint a protest sign and fight the power!
(I've made a bunch already and they are TOTALLY cute. Glitter is such a statement look.)
Did you SEE that fight? Dark Steel and Mechagraviton made such a gorgeously terrifying team. That cape was so perfect it made me WEEP. Meanwhile, Thorn and Krystalkorpion have such a BEAUTIFUL bond - I just love it when they team up to SMASH stuff! Including glass. ALL the glass, oh my stars. Meanwhile, I can't even with the DRAMA between their Trainers. SO MUCH INSULT-SLINGING. SO GOOD.
I mean, they weren't as beautiful in every way as Cinder, but they were still ICONIC to the Arena! Makes me tear up just to think about it. No longer will we laugh at their hilarious antics! No more will Giant Block of Wood continue to push the limits of what makes a watchable Arena fight! Ah, Canon. Too good and snarky for this world.
And just as the Nyoomie/Inertianator ship was just beginning to take off, too! I'd written fic and everything! Do you reckon publishing it would be tasteless now?
Some say it's tasteless. Some say, on the contrary, it's delicious. Either way, Max Taste's controversial decision to serve up genuine Volcanosaurus meat in memory of Cinder has gotten people flocking to the Monster House!
Not only that - turns out you can go there for therapy, too, courtesy of Nectar! The whole thing is super convenient. I mean, who doesn't want to mix counselling and chips? Personally, I went and got a Volcano-burger, and then cried about Cinder for an hour in therapy. So cathartic.
Hahaha Krystalkorpion lost to OPTIZORB. No need for a NOTS column this issue - the NOTS is all just KRYSTALKORPION AND KHAOS. Can you imagine the feeling of being beaten by OPTIZORB? The news had the whole office on the floor giggling. We'll sign off with this picture of the incredible moment Krystalkorpion was beaten… BY OPTIZORB!
Look I don't want to sound like I'm on Off The Record or anything, but I'm beginning to feel like the South Stand might be… welllll… a little Cursed. We've had really coooool but really weeeiiirrd Monsters before, like take a look at MonoChrome and tell me there's not something funky going on there? Anyway, it's just a bit… convenient? that Maximus, Hedgehog and V all attacked the same stand. Like, SO COOL to be up close and personal I guess right, but maybe… just maybe… it's cursed. A little.