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The Inertianator. Love it or hate it, there's no doubt that this Monster is able to cause a stir. But to those who say that it makes a mockery of the Ultimate Monster Battle Arena, I ask you this: is controversy and spectacle not the lifeblood of the Arena?
Some look at Reigning Fan Favourite The Inertianator and say that it's little more than a novelty, entered to appeal to the most casual of Fans. I look at The Inertianator and see a hero, a true underdog that rises to every challenge set against it. It's not easy, being a slow Monster in the Arena, but it keeps fighting every single time, just to give us a show.
This is the start of a very special Season for The Inertianator, I can feel it. What better time to start its rise to power than now?
Rumours are flying about this once-unstoppable Double Team duo! Surely you must have heard their arguments at the last League Conference? Such terrible accusations being flung at Block, but are they really true?
I cannot answer that question but I can ask you another, reader. Why, if Tackle was truly so hurt by Block's actions, would the pair attend couples counselling together?
Yes, I believe that the long-standing theory held by their most passionate Fans is true. The pair are clearly going through a difficult phase in their relationship, but it seems as if they're trying to overcome it together.
But why did this argument begin in the first place, I hear you ask. Simple. Tackle, having lost fair and square to his partner, concocted some nonsense story about sabotage so that he wouldn't have to face the embarrassment of being second-best. It's almost sad, really! Poor Block, having to deal with such a sore loser!
Anyway, once Tackle gets over this lovers' tiff, hopefully he'll be ready to resume his partnership with Block… in and out of the Arena. I certainly look forward to seeing them in the Double Team Championship again!
DECIBEL: Well, I don't want to keep you too long since it looks like the match is about to begin! Do you have any final message for your Fans?
BLADE: My Fans? Ha. They can shut up and wait patiently for a message. I'll be leaving it on the floor of the Arena… in shards of crystal.
DECIBEL: Well, well, well! That's certainly a confident statement! Let's find out if Blade and Dark Steel can live up to it as we go over to the Arena!
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DECIBEL: So, I hear you've been busy with Maximum Taste's Monster House? Maybe you could tell us a little about the future of the company?
CHASER: I sure have! I can't give too much away, obviously, but we have some exciting developments in the works! If you liked the Giant Block of Wood action figures, I'm sure you're going to love what comes next!
DECIBEL: Chaser, as I'm sure you can see, I'm on the edge of my seat!
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DECIBEL: Strike! A pleasure to have a Gladiator on the show, and such a brave one at that! Tell me, how was your fight against THE TENT?
STRIKE: …Painful.
DECIBEL: Ha! Oh, I bet. THE TENT is certainly a formidable opponent! Any insights you could share with us from your experience?
STRIKE: Yeah. Don't go inside it.
DECIBEL: Aw, isn't he a delight, folks?