Monsters
(Monsters presently owned by NPCs are marked with an asterisk (*))
Annihilatron*
Bane of Gladiators, the enormous iron shears on this towering rusting robot are razor sharp and have claimed more blood than any other in recent history
Armageddon
Be prepared for a monster you won't be able to HANDLE. They may look UNARMED, but these HANDS won't let you out of their CLUTCHES.
Aurargent
Aurargent is a winged dragon, with metallic scales in various metallic colours on the outside.
Basilica
“Er, was that ruin there yesterday?”
“Nope.”
“Did it just move?”
“Yyyyyyyup.”
“…”
“You want to go tell the giant walking temple it’s blocking the road? Shoo it away maybe?”
“…Maybe it will go away if I leave it alone?”
“Nope.”
“Did it just move?”
“Yyyyyyyup.”
“…”
“You want to go tell the giant walking temple it’s blocking the road? Shoo it away maybe?”
“…Maybe it will go away if I leave it alone?”
Bulwark*
Legend has it that nothing was stronger than a tidal wave, but one thing has stood the test of time. An enormous clifftop armoured in every direction: Bulwark will not be moved!
Cuddles
The word you would not think to combine with this creature. Blue, Soft, Slimy: here is Cuddles!
Now known as Blue Lagoon!
Dark Steel
DARK STEEL! He’s sharp, he’s mean and he brings death!!! Literally made of blades, has his owner finally been surpassed in ruthless violence? This guy exudes evil charisma! DARK STEEL WANTS YOU DEAD!! The blades all over his body are one thing, but how deadly is his sword? Nobody knows! No monster has been yet judged worthy of the true blade of DARK STEEL!! See his debut in SEASON XXXVI of Ultimate Monster Battle Arena!!!
Deathbreath
Deathbreath! Don’t stand downwind! Or do, if you want to become unconscious and wake up with an interesting stippling rash from the acidity! Hey, some people are weird thrill-seekers like that!
Diamon
Radio: “A body of DIAMOND and a heart of FIRE! The ARENA'S favoutiDIAMON is BACK!”
A fan that knows her stuff: “Wait, Diamon? Isn't that… one of Blaze's?”
Disjunct
The small furball known as Disjunct has never fought in the arena before and seems unlikely to given its owners disinterest. It is small and spherical shaped with a red jewel in its head.
Doomatros*
Don't let the strangled appearance of this fallen feathered foe fool you friends, one look in Doomatros's eyes and you'll know the true meaning of the word “fear”.
Doomigator*
Prepare yourself - enormous toxic waste barrels are built into the back of this grinning 'gator, but partnered with Thunderzilla this green mean machine's fallout will have you ducking for cover.
Doughball
“Now isn’t that big old lump just adorable? That round body… those big eyes… I just want to eat them up!”
“Wait, is that thing actually going into fights in the Arena? I thought it was just the mascot of that new fast-food place? How does it even fight?”
Dozer
Meet DOZER. [1] This hulking lizard-beast strikes fear into the heart of its opponents with crushing strength and impenetrable armor! You don’t want to sleep through this one, because Dozer certainly won’t! [2]
[1] Short for Bulldozer, of course [2] It’s better trained than last season, we promise!
Experiment X*
Teeth proudly presents a truly remarkable achievement in herding miniature dogs miniature giant lizards. See how they work together in harmony to rip your face off, see them bark make lizard noises in glorious victory. See them wag their tails (oh shit, lizards actually do that?) over your crushed hopes and dreams.
Footsie
What do my feet smell? (what, do my feet smell?) Why yes, it's the kick-ass monster that'll always sock it to 'em, iiiiiiiiiiiiiit's FOOTSIE!
Frost Wyrm
This is it! The beast that took SIX of the bravest monster trappers to capture and bring back from the Wastelands! Wonder at the FREEZING COLD which it emanates! Marvel at the thickness of its SCALES! Once trained Frost Wyrm is sure to be a worthy opponent to any monster whose trainer dares challenge it!
Gearbox
Gearbox! It's a box! Filled with gears! It… walks around? So, that's cool.
Gigazaur*
“Do lizards even grow that big?”
“Of course not, it's a MONSTER Lizard, they grow up to 60ft long if you leave them in the sun.”
“It looks more like 63ft”
“That's just a trick of the light.”
“Of course not, it's a MONSTER Lizard, they grow up to 60ft long if you leave them in the sun.”
“It looks more like 63ft”
“That's just a trick of the light.”
Red Genie
(formerly Green Genie)
The AMAZING! The ASTOUNDING! Marvel at its control of PRIMAL FLAME! Observe as it renders all it touches as flammable as paper! Now in a new form with twice as many horns, infinitely more legs and a stylish colour change, Red Genie is sure to astound spectators and burn opponents in equal measure!
Grey
Grey is a robotic monster. From far away, she usually appears as a humanoid figure with a smooth metallic surface. In reality, she consists of many microscopic robots that work together as one organism. As such, she can reform her body. She can use the robotic organisms to assimilate weaponry into her form and use it instantly. This feature is used by her trainer, Paradigm, to showcase his latest weaponry. Many people have been beaten by some weapons used by Grey where they later bought them from Paradigm.
Grey is also one of the most well-trained monsters. Her trainer is not afraid to be near her, and often closely interacts with her. Even after a fight, she automatically stops attacking without anybody using any Xenon anaesthetic on her.
Hurricane*
Hurricane is an odd, amorphous blur of cloud. Crackles of lightning pulse deep within its core.
INDESTRUCTOSPHERE*
Nothing can penetrate the INDESTRUCTIBLE armour of INDESTRUCTOSPHERE. Nothing can crack its surface. Nothing can crush it under foot. It is INDESTRUCTIBLE.
Jaws Of Defeat
“Let’s hear a great big, “Awwwww!” for the Jaws of Defeat! Your beloved underdog – or should that be undercat? – is back in the arena, ready to pluck victory from the jaws of defeat! You see what we did there?” – Umpire, during one of Jaws of Defeat’s most recent matches
“Did you hear that someone’s got new Jaws of Defeat merch? No?! Oh my sky, there’s cuddly toys out with detachable heads – so you don’t have to worry about your plushie having less heads than Jaws of Defeat does!”
“Or more heads.”
“Yeah, or that. It’s doing its best, okay? And it looks so cute when it fights!”
- Conversation overhead between two of Jaws of Defeat’s fans
“Did you hear that someone’s got new Jaws of Defeat merch? No?! Oh my sky, there’s cuddly toys out with detachable heads – so you don’t have to worry about your plushie having less heads than Jaws of Defeat does!”
“Or more heads.”
“Yeah, or that. It’s doing its best, okay? And it looks so cute when it fights!”
- Conversation overhead between two of Jaws of Defeat’s fans
Jinx
Jinx is the Official Mascot of THE ULTIMATE SHOW TONIGHT WITH DECIBEL. Get your official Jinx merchandise for a limited time only for Season XXXVI of ULTIMATE MONSTER BATTLE ARENA!
Jinx can't be seen in the Arena, only on THE ULTIMATE SHOW TONIGHT WITH DECIBEL!
Jinx can't be seen in the Arena, only on THE ULTIMATE SHOW TONIGHT WITH DECIBEL!
Knight-Mare*
Way back in days old, when chaos ruled the land, only one Horse stood against the forces of darkness. A 30ft Knight in shining armour, and a whinny to send evildoers running with their tails between their legs: Knight-Mare, at your service.
KRYSTALKORPION
To come
Little Thread
Oh darling, you simply must try the latest silk stoles that Little Thread is spinning. The weave
feels like smoke, and the gold filigree is more delicate than anything human hands could make.
Oh yeah? I guess she fights, too.
Longbow
A big spider-esque machine that's most often seen around the arena helping High Noon with Maintenance, or accompanying him and Midnight out on monster hunts. She's probably best known for being decisively and hilariously defeated in the first round of the Double Team Championships last year alongside the tiny adorable Shrapnel.
Masked Monster 1
What is this mysterious Monster? Who do they belong to? What can they do? We just don't know!
Masked Monster 2
What is this mysterious Monster? Who do they belong to? What can they do? We just don't know!
Masked Monster 4
What is this mysterious Monster? Who do they belong to? What can they do? We just don't know!
Maximus
Maximus has the appearance of a muscular human man wielding a carving knife. It appears to be wearing a tank top and shorts.
Mechagraviton
MECHAGRAVITON, the MECHA DRAGON that strikes with GRAVITY.
Merle
This marine menace has emerged into the Arena as a fierce and unpredictable fighter. Both his crushing teeth and powerful tentacles have savaged unprepared opponents. However, the Merlion (also known as Merle to his very few fans) hasn’t gained a lot of attention in the Arena. The need to hold your breath as he enters the ring and the pulsating surface of his skin has driven away Arena fans that are more inclined towards elegance or even rugged beauty. However, the fans that stick with him tend towards extreme loyalty, and an outright embrace of one of the stranger contestants in the arena.
MonoChrome
Super Cute Fluffy Sheep™ enters the ARENA???? Or is there MORE to this peaceful giant than meets the eye!?!? Come take a STAB at this MYSTERY on TONIGHT’S FIGHT!
Murk
He mau look like an undersized cow, but this hairy fella' will take down his opponents with radical tactics! Provided he wants to, of course 
Mycosaurus*
“But it's face is so cute! It's a shame I'm allergic to mushrooms else I'd just want to give it a big HUG!”
“Please don't hug it, it's a vicious killing machine!”
“An adorable killing machine!”
“Please don't hug it, it's a vicious killing machine!”
“An adorable killing machine!”
Omnisquid*
TENTACLES! TENTACLES EVERYWHERE! Look over there - TENTACLES! Look over here - MORE TENTACLES! Look on your face - TENTACLES! AAAAAAH! EVEN THE TENTACLES HAVE TENTACLES!
Optizorb*
COWER IN FEAR BEFORE THE OPTIZORB - OPTIZORB IS ALL SEEING - OPTIZORB IS ALL-KNOWING - OPTIZORB IS UNSTOPPABLE
Pepper
“Next up in our list of under-definitely-not-dogs for the upcoming season, we have Pepper!”
“That's right, Poppy! Little Pepper's quite the firebrand - make sure you avoid those spikes!”
“They're red hot, Vox! Surprising power from such a small monster.”
“True, but the real question is: how well will Pepper do under its trainer Saffron's direction? Do you fancy their chances?”
“Not much. But maybe it'll surprise all of us! Stranger things have happened…”
–Popular commentating duo Vox and Poppy, discussing upcoming monsters for the new season
“That's right, Poppy! Little Pepper's quite the firebrand - make sure you avoid those spikes!”
“They're red hot, Vox! Surprising power from such a small monster.”
“True, but the real question is: how well will Pepper do under its trainer Saffron's direction? Do you fancy their chances?”
“Not much. But maybe it'll surprise all of us! Stranger things have happened…”
–Popular commentating duo Vox and Poppy, discussing upcoming monsters for the new season
Pork Scratchings
[When asked to provide a bio, Pork Scratchings' owner shouted about injustice until forcibly removed from the office.]
Rockasaurus-Rex*
GET READY TO RUMBLE! This rough customer will boulder you over. Can you bare-ium the geological action or will you cave under pressure? Don't take this gem's soft eyes for granite though, it's got no time for sediment and is ready to finally take the Arena by quartz.
Rollerpedes
And now dearest audience the moment that you have anticipated so patiently, I bring you the rollerpedes! Yes this swarm of thousands moves as one and can take on any form you might desire. A ship, a chair, a scale model of the arena itself. Yes sir, yes ma'am the rollerpedes can do it all! And even for you see the one in the little red
jacket, why our brave little beetle will now astound you with his death defying routine!
Titch
Ruh Yarati is more of a working monster than a gladiator, working with Ash Moon in the wastelands. However Ash was convinced/pressured into entering Ruh Yarati into the arena where commentators bestowed him with the much less rubbish name “Titch”.
Shock And Awe*
ZZZZAAAAPPPP comes the electric whip, before BOOOOOM the shoulder mounted artillery fires: Shock and Awe is too right, can anyone stop this Robotic Rampage?
Shrapnel
Shrapnel is best known for failing pretty spectacularly in the Double Team Championship last season, along with the monster Longbow, as part of Team Legit. It was kind of adorable watching the tiny chibi robot flailing ineffectually at its opponents, though. Aww.
Slaymatron*
Brace yourself for SPINNING WHIRLING CHAINSAW MAYHEM - Slaymatron, UMBA gem, is rebooted and back online for another season with its signature CHAINSAW OF DAMNATION
Slime Kitty
Have you seen SLIME KITTY, the CUTEST and GOOPIEST new monster to HIT THE ARENA this SEASON!
No seriously have you seen her she's about yea high, made of turquoise slime, I swear to FUCK she was here a moment ago hold on -
Spikeby*
The living answer to the question “Just how many spikes can you fit on a giant floating bell?”
The answer is 1,263,392, and all of them sharp and deadly.
Stone Angel
Admire the GRACEFUL ELEGANCE of this newly-hatched creature! Or, you know, shy away at uncanny visage of this creepy part-bird, almost-human stone beast… Stone Angel may not be the cutest to look at, but with its WINGS that fill with MAGMA it is sure to do some damage in the arena once it is trained!
Taraxacore*
A large, heavy-looking dinosaur with dandelion fluff in the place of a head.
THE CAT
A new monster to the arena this season. THE CAT appears to be a perfectly ordinary house cat. But worry not, we have full confirmation that it is in fact a monster.
The Green Beast*
The rustling of fallen leaves on the Arena floor, so peaceful, so calm, so ARGH IT'S GOT MY LEG
The Hedgehog
There's
something incomprehensibly hateful in this thing's eyes. The Hedgehog is fed up with your shit. The Hedgehog wonders how on earth you got through the week without tripping over your own staggering incompetence. Or at least that's what you imagine it to think,
looking at it.
It's difficult to tell if this thing's biological or mechanical - it's so covered in spikes you can barely see anything beneath them. It emits a quiet growl that could be the sound of grinding gears. Of course, it's equally likely to be a rumbling stomach.
The Hedgehog has never had a good day in all its existence, most likely. Certainly never had a good feed. Maybe you'll fit the bill.
The Howling Terror*
An enormous long-necked flightless bird with RAZOR SHARP talons - cover your ears and raise your cheers for the one to watch this Season: THE HOOOOOOOWLING TERROR!!!
The Inertianator (Giant Block of Wood)*
Some have argued that GBOW is not in fact a Monster, but she has one of the best Rules Lawyers in existence as a coach. Fans love her. Hardcore fans hate her.
The Nyoominator
THE NYOOMINATOR is not a promising contender in the arena, being as it is mainly used for EXTREME SPORTS around the edge of town. It is. however, BIG, FAST, HOT PINK, and a testament to some SUBSTANTIAL REPAIR WORK by its owner.
THE TENT
“Now, I know what you must be thinking. “Where's the Monster, Mr Steeple? You
promised us a monster, you lying prick! Is the Monster in the tent?” Friends, I am here today to tell you that this monster is THE TENT! Witness
its shifting colours! Gawp at its many lights and needle-teeth! DO NOT TOUCH IT,
YOU MANIAC, IT WILL EAT YOU! Have you ever seen anything like it, my friends?”
(THE TENT may contain flashing images and scenes of extreme violence. Viewer
discretion is advised. THE TENT is not suitable for children under five or
anyone really. Ask your doctor before feeding yourself to THE TENT.)
Thorn
Black as pitch, roars like a seven year old’s nails scratching a chalk board, and it’s got spikes, uh… yeah. Lots of spikes.
Thunderzilla*
Taking the Arena by STORM, this thunderstorm made manifest hides a dark purple beast, usually hunched behind its shoulders, ready to pounce. Watch out for its calamitous combo with DOOMIGATOR!
Tick
Tick is a mechanical panther, seemingly driven by clockwork (resulting in a ticking at all times, which increases in tempo as she tenses ready to attack).
Toxtor*
The enormous and resilient Toxtor, holder of the ULTIMATE SURVIVOR CHAMPION title from Season 35, will kill you with its deadly bite, with its incredible weight, but perhaps most of all with its eternally enduring patience as even diamonds are dulled trying to pierce its shell.
Volcanosaurus*
The ONE AND ONLY VOLCANOSAURUS. The Grand Champion of Season 35 is a TOWERING behemoth that ERUPTS HOT LAVA from its back, INCINERATING its opponents. Watch out for its LEGENDARY VOLCANO PUNCH and DEVASTATING MAGMA ATTACK
Wreckatar
Give it up for WRECKATARRRR!!!! This enormous lizard can roll into a ball that bounces around and SMASHES everything in its path!
Your Worst Nightmare*
THE SHADOW. THE DARKNESS. THE CRUSHING EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. ALL THINGS MUST COME TO AN END, AND YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE IS HERE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. ABANDON ALL HOPE.