“Patrons of the Battle Arena! Welcome, one and all, to the Grand Championship Final! All of your support, all of your love for this Season’s competitors has come down to this. And now, I have just one question for you all. Say it with me, folks…”
“ARE. YOU. REEEEAAAADDDYYYYY????”
- Umpire Blitz at the Grand Championship Final, Season XXIX.
There are occasions when humans might well end up fighting Monsters themselves.
But the meat and drink of the Arena, and of Monster Battling as a sport is the formal Monster-on-Monster Matches. This is what everything is building up to.
This is the main event.
“Let me get this straight. You think you can just cheat your way to the top? It’s not that I’m opposed to a little bit of foul play, but… wow, that’s naive of you.”
- Sketch, strategist-for-hire.
Each individual Fight will look different, as the clashing behemoths each have their own skills, strengths, and weaknesses to exploit.
The Arena itself also changes; and the environment can be used to a Monster's advantage - or turned against it. Many a Monster has been taken out more by the hazards of the structure itself than by its opponent's direct attacks, especially when a small, apparently weak, but canny Monster is pitted against a lumbering titan. The Arena isn't just a space, it's a weapon and a resource in itself.
And the Arena is modified regularly, both to increase the spectacle, to affect repairs, and to protect the audience.
Each Monster has its strengths and weaknesses - even the underdog can win out against the odds if it has a good Trainer with a smart plan, and even the mightiest Monsters can be taken out if they enter the Arena unprepared.
Untrained, any two Monsters are likely a more or less even match, provided that they haven't been hunted from the inhospitable far reaches of the Wasteland. This is what makes Monster Battles a sport, and a skilled one. It's all in the training.
“Ten-Tonne-Terror’s Weak Point? Yeah, I know it. Nova Star told me all about it after she’d had a bit too much to drink. Of course, telling you what it is would completely break her trust in me… so you’d better make me a good offer.”
- Nought, former best friend of Trainer Nova Star.
Know your enemy.
Not only is it useful to know your own Monster - the best way to train them, their special strengths, and which weak points to keep covered - many Trainers and support teams devote a great deal of time to studying their opponents.
Find their weak points, and you can figure out how to disable them.
Counter their special move before they make it, and you're on the up-and-up.
And know when to pick your battles - if you can get your Monster's fiery breath pitted against an ice carapace, you know just what to do. But if it ends up facing granite armour-plating… maybe save the energy.
The odds of a Battle are often heavily stacked before the Umpire ever calls “FIGHT!”. The audience in the stands may never see the backstage war, but it's no less cut-throat than the Battle itself. Trainers, Fans, and agents will go to extreme lengths to uncover useful scraps of information about their opponents' Monsters - and to conceal, mislead, and obfuscate information about their own.
But then again, you don't want to be too secretive. No-one cheers for a Monster they know nothing about and playing the media and the fanbase is a game in itself…
“Whoa, you actually managed to teach your Monster a Super Secret Special Move?? AWESOME!”
“Well, it’s hardly a secret any more! Hey, maybe we should call it a Super Everyone-in-This-Bar-Knows-About-It-Now Special Move? Not quite as catchy, is it?”
- Overheard between two Trainers.
Everybody knows that Monsters are ridiculously powerful, but nothing demonstrates this quite like Super Secret Special Moves. Just as all hope seems lost, a Monster may unleash a devastating attack or launch itself into a complex evasive manoeuvre – often to rapturous applause from the audience and the proud tears of its Trainer. While some of these skills are innate to the Monster, they may also be learned. Talented Trainers are encouraged to teach their Monsters new Super Secret Special Moves – the more dramatic and unique, the better. The Fans love to see exciting new moves and having the Fans on your side is always a good thing.
“No, listen- seriously, listen! I’ve got a plan. So, we sneak into Lady Phoenix’s pen tonight, right, and then we plant a remote-controlled shock device on her. …come on, stop laughing! When have my plans ever gone wrong?”
- Dizzy, apprentice to Trainer Downfall.
Even the biggest gun doesn't win a fight on its own. You've got to know where to point it, and when to pull the trigger.
Some of the greatest victories come from the most unprepossessing Monsters - the small ones who trip their opponents into an embarrassing pratfall, or climb to safety inside their ears; the dull-looking ones that blend into the background until they strike.
And the Trainers who know how to shift the balance in their favour. Who always end up seeded against the perfect opponent; whose battles just happen to coincide with convenient changes to the Arena layout; who have a good Rules Lawyer on retainer; whose opponents mysteriously develop indigestion the day of a fight, and wind up vomiting green sludge instead of spitting acid.
“Astounding manoeuvres from Sleek there, breathtaking speed… you can tell how much work their Trainer has put into this. They’re moving in to strike, aaaaaaaand- oh. Oh wow. That sure was a punch. Sleek does not appear to be moving. Huh.”
- Commentator Force Trauma during the Lightweight Championship semi-final, Season XXXI.
And then there are the brute force options.
Hit first, hit hardest, don't let them get their clever combo started.
Train Monsters that just don't give up, that roll with the punches - after all, they just need to keep moving, and it's not over until it's over.
Get your Monster a bigger gun.
“8… 9… 10… AND THAT’S THE GAME! GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR NEW GRAND CHAMPION, VOLCANOSAAAAAUUUUURUUUUUUUS!!”
- Umpire Drawback at the Grand Championship Final, Season XXXV.
A Match ends when a competitor fails to move for ten seconds. Sometimes, it's actually dead - more often, it's just incapacitated and will be back to fight again another day.
Once a Fight is over, all but the most docile or well-trained surviving Monsters typically have to be anaesthetized by Trainers or officials to get them safely out of the Arena. Trainers, healers, and their teams will quickly get to work on both Monsters.
Once the competitors are out of the Arena, maintenance staff will quickly get to work clearing up any debris or Monster remains, performing necessary repairs, and preparing the ground for the next fight.